| Long time... no blog. |
[16 Feb 2006|10:12pm] |
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Yeah... it's been forever since I've been on here. I've become kind of a Myspace junkie as of late. http://www.myspace.com/guinnesspunk95
Whole lot of nothing going on really... Holidays have come and gone, girls have come and gone, friends are back from Iraq and coming back, going to Boston again for St. Patty's, and doing a whole lot of working.
Yeah... nothing super special... just life in general.
Cheers!
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| Boycot the Congress Theater, Chicago |
[06 Nov 2005|03:14pm] |
I'd like to propose that all bands, promoters, and concert goers consider a boycot on shows at the Congress Theater in Chicago.
The reason for this has nothing to do with the great bands and great shows that have played there... but has everything to do with the management and security personnel at that facility!
These people, in their infinate wisdom have decided that the standard studded belts that who knows how many of us wear just about every day are some sort of dangerous weapon and are not allowed into the building. (This is their supposed policy at least)
This all came to a head for me last night at Riotfest (a great show) when we were forced to leave our belts at the door... and then lost them when security threw them all away! I have no idea how many people lost their personal possesions, but even one person is too many!
Here's my breakdown of the problem:
First of all... the belts are not some kind of weapon nor are they dangerous unless some total idiot decides to take it off and wack people with it... and I've never seen that at a show in all the years I've gone to shows. I can see not allowing the inch long spikes, brass knuckles, glass bottles, knives... that just makes sense, but our belts?
Secondly... this is nothing more than total oppression! They basically have come and said that those of us in the punk community can't dress like punks at a punk show! Talk about B.S.!
To add more to the problem... they don't advertise on ticket sites or advise the promoters of the shows to advertise their insane restrictions. So, people get to the show (often by public transportation) and are told "Go put it back in your car." Yeah, that works if you drove only! So they point to a garbage can near the door and say leave it there or put it outside somewhere. Then to top matters off... they threw away the whole can full of belts with all the other garbage! So instead of leaving it at the door or outside and only running the risk of loosing your stuff to some dishonest person, you get the security that is hired by the management of the theater basically taking your property and throwing it away! How can it get more screwed up than this?
If you ask me, that policy is B.S. and to top it off, they pick and choose who they apply it to because some people did get in with belts like that, although many of us didn't.
So what I recomend is that people just don't go there! If you are a promoter for a show and are looking for a venue, don't choose that one! If you are a band looking for a show, suggest your promoters don't book that venue because of the unfair treatment your fans will get when they arrive! And if you have to go that venue because there's a show you just can't miss... I guess bite the bullet and leave your studded belts and bondage belts at home because you run the risk of loosing it. I sure don't like loosing stuff I shelled out my hard earned money to buy.
Physically, the venue is really nice... it's unfortunate that the management chooses such ignorant policies towards their patrons and hires such morons to run security. The bands that I've seen there in the past kick ass too... and believe me many of the band members I talked to last night were pretty uhappy about all of this too.
Please Re-Post this to anyone you can... get the word out so more people don't loose their stuff!
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| Damn you Congress Theater... Damn You! |
[06 Nov 2005|11:50am] |
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The Congress Theater can kiss my ass! That fucking place is so on my shit list right now! Mother fuckers!
So last night, my friends and I go to Chicago for Riot Fest. Great lineup and great overall show... no complaints whatsoever about the actual show or the people who obviously worked their asses off putting together that show. Ok... only complaint is that the Misfits need to slow the fuck down. They play too fast.
So... what was the problem? Well let me tell you! The mother fucking security ass holes decided that the standard issue punk studded belts were dangerous and would not be allowed in! Yeah... that's like at least 50% or more of the people coming to the show! Worse yet, they wouldn't let you leave them in the lobby anywhere. We were told to take them back to our cars... yeah... great except that we rode the fucking train in! So people were left to fend for themselves... leaving them in a garbage can by the gate that we all assummed we could go through when we got out or leaving them hidden outside in the surrounding neighborhood. We thought we were fortunate when this decent minded guy at the will call booth offered to take ours and put them in a box behind his table. All good until they made him take the table down and pack up before the show ended! So my friend Erica and I both wound up loosing our damn belts... I even went as far as to look in the damn dumpster they said they threw them away in! Yeah... that's right the fuckers had the nerve to throw away all the belts in that garbage can or any they could find! Mind you... I'm still pissed I couldn't wear it in... and it's fucking pouring rain while I'm looking in the dumpster! No luck... so I go home... really really pissed off and minus one studded belt with a kick ass Casualties buckle that I just had gotten off ebay for a great fucking price the week before! I'm so pissed I could beat the hell out of all of those fuckers!
So I say... Fuck the Congress Theater! Fuck their security, fuck their management, and fuck them ever getting any more of my hard earned fucking money! I'm going to post what happened all over the net, I'm going to tell bands, I'm going to tell promoters, I'm going to tell punks, I'm going to tell the fucking world what a bunch of no good jackasses those people are! To anyone that also lost their shit... I hope they do the same! I'm all about standing up for my right to dress how I want to! There was nothing at all dangerous about a studded belt! Yeah... I could see if it was a belt with 1 inch spikes... that would be different... but not our studded belts! Again... this is nothing bad about the people who worked to put this show together... it's just towards the venue and their complete lack of fucking inteligence in dealing with the real world!
I'm still really pissed about this... I loved that fucking belt! BASTARDS!
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| Let's Go Murphys! |
[25 Oct 2005|05:21pm] |
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Dropkick Murphys kick ass! Saw them last night in Milwaukee on the Boston Invasion Tour. Damn good show. Actually, all of the bands that played were pretty decent! I was tired and all with it being a weeknight show... but the second they started... I went from in the back to 2nd row baby! Love that band... love them! Ok... I don't love them per say... I love their music! So Kiss Me I'm Shitfaced...
So... I was rolling this thought around in my head this afternoon... something that kinda sucks actually... I have at least 4 female friends who I have a crush on, not to mention a sexual attraction to, but alas... I am locked into the "just friends" role for one reason or another. Not fair! Blah! Dear God... if you are there, and a good part of me still hopes you are, please send me a hot punk girl who drinks Guinness and isn't lame! Preferably one with nice boobs and overall cuteness. Amen.
Danny is home from Iraq now. About fucking time! Now I only have Aaron to worry about over there. We need to just get out of that country and let them kill each other. Having a welcome home Hockey Game outing and party at my place this Saturday. Should be a rocking good time! Hopefully some people will come and party with us.
Ok... that's it for now... I now I haven't posted in this thing in a while... been kinda hooked on myspace lately. http://www.myspace.com/guinnesspunk95
Cheers!
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[25 Sep 2005|03:53pm] |
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| Much about nothing... or nothing about much? |
[07 Sep 2005|08:01pm] |
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mellow |
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Hmmm... so what's new? Work has gotten extremely busy... I'm back to 10 hour days and up to 8 hours on Saturdays for a while... it's all good though because it will bring in some nice paychecks. I knew things were gonna get crazy... I just wish we would have been allowed to put ourselves in a better position to deal with it a month ago rather than reacting to it all now. Such is life in corporate America. Got a raise this week too... I've been there three years already. Time flies when you're... um... yeah... working?
I'm going to be shooting darts again on Sunday nights now too... I took a year off from being on a dart league... I like it though... so time to give it a shot again. Should be fun. Maybe make some new friends, and also get to hang out with new ones. On top of throwing pointy objects! Woohoo!
Some good shows coming up... two this weekend. Should be fun... not sure who is going with to the shows yet... but as long as I don't get stuck going it alone... things will be all good.
Hmmm... ok the one bad thing... I kinda feel like from my Birthday on up to this past weekend was a total waste this year... Chalk it up as a loss I have... but still left feeling I should have done things differently. Oh well... life goes on... and no permanant damage done. To all my friends who tried to tell me I was making a mistake... yeah... you were all right. To those who I pushed away for a time... sorry. Anyhow... I have a good feeling about where things are going right now.
All I need now is a haircut... don't ask why I feel I needed to say that... just that I do need a haircut. Starting to feel like a dirty hippie. Anyhow... can't think of anything else to say right now.
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| Start wearing purple! |
[15 Aug 2005|08:32pm] |
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Ahhh... another Monday following a good weekend. Got to see Throw Rag, Gogol Borello, and Flogging Molly on Thursday and Saturday last week! Saturday's show was kick ass! I'm really becoming a fan of Gogol Bordello, gypsy punks! They put on such a fun show! I can barely understand a word they say, but still very awesome! They have some pretty hot dancers too! ;-)
Lots and lots of shows coming up, that's a good thing! I love live music!
Not a whole lot new really... working, going to shows, doing random stuff. I've got some pent up shit dealing with government, laws, and unfair persecution eating away at me... but don't feel much like writing it all down just yet. What can I say? This whole country, if not the world, has gone to hell. At least I have friends and good music to keep me happy!
Cheers!
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| blah... |
[30 Jul 2005|10:37pm] |
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What a shitty night... sitting here bored and shit. My buddy is leaving to go back to the Marine's tomorrow, probably to Iraq. That sucks. I wanted to do something with someone tonight, but no dice there either. Although I'm thinking about one particular person and not seeming to get to do shit with them at all, I think it really sucks when I have to be the one to always come up with stuff to do, or ideas. I guess I just don't have enough friends. Blah blah blah... maybe I'm just in a pissy mood. It's a Saturday night, and there's nothing fun to do. None of my friends have called or anything either. I bet if I had texted them all and said "Let's have a party" there would be something going on. But it always has to be me that does that... maybe I'm tired of that. I figure if people truly want to hang out with me or something... they can call me just as easy as I can call them. So fuck it.
I actually had a decent day... hung out with my dad. Went to a railway museum, then had dinner. I dig trains. Also went and worked for a few hours this morning. We are getting busy at work. More overtime... more money... good shit!
Oh... and I FUCKING HATE TICKETMASTER! Fuck them and their damn fees and shit! Extortionist motherfuckers! Went to pick up tickets for a few shows and the service fees are up to like $7 to $8 per ticket now! What a joke! Worse yet, you can't go to the venue box offices anymore because they are either never open, or they have a damn ticketmaster in them! Fuckers!
Ok... I'm done. Guess I'll watch some more Mad TV.
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| Hmmm... what to talk about? |
[27 Jul 2005|07:58pm] |
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Well, the Warped tour has come and gone again this year... I went to the show in Indianapolis and Chicago this year. Honestly, Warped tour really kinda sucked this year. If it weren't for going with a bunch of great friends... it probably would have sucked ass completely. Highlights of the Indy show were Dropkick Murphys (not really their best set I've seen), Billy Idol (this guy is still sounding damn good after all these years), and the Horrorpops. Horrorpops were fucking great! They played last, and did an awesome job. Got to talk to them all after too. Good times. Saturday in Chicago wasn't too bad... Horrorpops, DKM, Offspring. Transplants sucked ass. I like some of their music a lot... but they sucked live. Maybe cuz Tim was drunk? Who knows... Surprise of the show was Gogol Bordello. Gypsy punk... yeah... gypsy punk. They were really entertaining. They are on tour with Flogging Molly in August. I'll see them again for sure! Went to the Psychobilly fest after... damn good show! Had an incident with this girl that went with us... won't ever put up with that shit again. Had a damn good time though.
Lot's of great shows coming up! I've started to list them on my personal webpage's music page. Hopefully I can get a group of friends to go to some of these shows. Going solo kinda sucks.
My friend Aaron has been home on leave from the USMC. He went with us to Warped. It's good to have him back for a while... he's one of my better mosh pit buddies. He's heading over to the sandbox in Iraq in a month or so. He'd better come back in one peice or I'm gonna kick his arse. Danny is over there now... I miss his ass a lot. He should be back in time for the DKM fall tour though! Hmmm... Guinness anyone?
Cheers!
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| Hmmm... |
[18 Jul 2005|07:50pm] |
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What's up? I dunno... got this uneasy feeling... not sure why exactly. Pretty sure I've fucked up a good thing I had going... and now it's not as cool as it used to be. Blah... story of my fucked up life.
Going to Warped tour in Indiana Wednesday. Should be fun. I'm looking forward to it. Just sitting here alone right now... it sucks. Blah blah blah. I really don't have shit to say.
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| Why can't life work like it does in Office Space? |
[12 Jul 2005|07:51pm] |
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I don't like my job... I don't think I'm gonna go anymore! I wish things were that simple! I actually do like the job I do, just not the environment I do it in or the pay I do it for. Not that I really should complain... it pays the bills and has basic benefits. Just gets kinda old dealing with stupid people and what seems to be a clueless administration. Blah blah blah... anyhow... yeah work is frustrating. More more more is all they want... but do it with no overtime, no more money, no more space, and just make things work even though there's no way they can! That about sums it up.
I just came in from a long ass walk... it's humid as hell out there today. I feel good though. Kinda got off the wagon with my dieting and payed the price for it. Time to start it up again and kick into high gear. One of these days I'm gonna drive my car on the route I walk each night to see just how far it is. I'm betting it's close to five miles or more. You'd think by speed walking all that, I'd be a toothpick by now... but I've been blessed with a turtle speed metabolism and a taste for beer, potatoes, and basically anything bad for me. Go figure! Oh well... I'll fight the good fight and try to stay in some sort of shape. Just tired of being a lard bucket.
Not a whole lot else going on. Starting to adjust to the lack of the live in girlfriend. We decided to back the train up a bit and slow things way down. It think that's for the best. Either way... we're gonna be good friends no matter what, so that's cool. I am not going to go into detail about my relationship now... just thought it was worth mentioning.
Excuse me sir, I believe you have my stapler...
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| What to do... |
[04 Jul 2005|04:36pm] |
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I hate this feeling... Things just aren't right, but I have no idea what to do about it. I don't even know what is creating these feelings... but my reaction has been to push people away from me. I just finished snapping on my girlfriend on the phone... and I feel shitty about that. I'm just not sure I like life the way it's going right now... maybe feeling a little trapped even. I spent this entire long weekend alone basically. Went out and met some friends Friday night at the bar, but that was about it. For me, summer holidays like Memorial Day, Fourth Of July, and Labor Day are best spent with friends having fun. Maybe that's why this weekend has sucked so much... my best friend in the world is stuck in Iraq still, my other friends are off doing whatever, and my g/f has all these family obligations to attend to. Maybe it's just that I don't have much family to deal with locally, or that I value having a good time a bit more than pleasing my family, but it just doesn't seem right. I know she's all pissed at me for not wanting to go do stuff with her family... but I don't feel real comfortable hanging out with a girl's family all the time... I mean...they all seem nice enough from what I've met of them... I dunno what it is really. Maybe just me being so damn gun-shy from other past relationships not working that I just want to keep my distance. Maybe cuz I am uncomfortable around kids too... I wish I could get over that somehow... it's not that I don't like kids, just not sure how to deal with them. I told her I don't think things are working out... I don't know what I meant by that or why I really said it. I mean... here's a girl who treats me great, puts up with a lot of my shit, deals with me for who I am and what my past has made me deal with, and seems to like me. She's not perfect... nobody is... maybe I'm too picky? Maybe I'm just chicken shit to accept a good thing. Yeah... we have some differences... maybe too different? Maybe I'm just too old? Na... can't be that... never too old. Maybe just things are moving too quick? Could be... I dunno. All I know is that I find myself doubting what I should be doing... Is this all good? Is it bad? Am I just being stupid? Chances are I'm gonna wind up screwing this up and pushing away a good thing in my life and totally screwing myself. Wouldn't be the first time... probably wouldn't be the last. What the hell should I do? Maybe it's just that I'm so unhappy with the rest of my life that I want to have a relationship with someone and have it be as perfect as it can be to compensate for what is lacking elsewhere in my life? If I do break this off... will I lose a friend? That's one thing I hate... I have this thing where I won't date a girl unless I can like her as a friend... but then when it comes to maybe not working out... I can't stand to think I'd lose a friend. On top of it all... I do really care about her... and the thought that I'll hurt her any more than I have tears me up. I'm so fucking confused! It's making me angry. Could it be that I just got so used to being single that I don't know how to handle a relationship? Maybe that and the speed this one has moved has caused the un-easy feelings I have been having. Hell... maybe this is just a bad fucking dream. All I know is this sucks. I've only told a few friends how I feel about all this... some think it's because I want to date other people... I don't think that's it really. Like anyone would want to date a dork like me anyhow. God... why am I such a fuck up??? Grrrrr....
Fuck it... I dunno what to do. It's humid as hell out... blah.
I guess I'll just see what happens.
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| blah |
[30 Jun 2005|09:52pm] |
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indescribable |
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I don't know anymore... blah blah blah. The world is just passing me by and there's nothing I can do to change what holds me back from just jumping in feet first and fists flying. I feel trapped... I'm not happy. Damn them all! Damn all those who have worked to put me down and keep me behind! I'll not give up you fucks! I'll not give in! I will not be quiet! I will not stay still! The control you have over your life and other's is just an illusion! Ha ha ha ha!
Do not try to interpret this... if you find yourself sitting here thinking to yourself "What is he trying to say here?" then you should pour peanut butter and chocolate sauce all over yourself and jump into a pit of hungry grizzly bears. Stop trying to figure me out! When I figure my own self out and what I want... I'll let everyone know... until then... I'm fully entitled to be irrational, angry, upset, bummed out, or completely nuts! So piss off ye bastards!
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| How about a big cup of shut the @$%# up? |
[19 Jun 2005|08:42am] |
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So I guess it's been a while since I've had anything to say here. Well... not really that I didn't have anything to say, more that I was too damn lazy to do it. I've been working some crazy hours lately because the 2nd shift supervisor at work broke his ankle pretty bad and has been off. So I get to stay late and help get them up and running each night. The money is great, and I like to work, but the 12 hour days leave me just wanting to sit around and not do shit all the time. You'd think with all the overtime that I'd be able to catch up on my bills, but noooo.... It's a vicious cycle, I pay them... and more come back in! Oh well. I've put fun and games on hold until I can get some of my finances in better order. I did manage to go to a Civil War reenactment last weekend... that was fun. Hot as hell... but fun. It's great to get away and escape for a weekend, no computer, no phone, no tv, no A/C. Well... the no A/C part sucked. I got to see a lot of old friends though, so it was definately worth it. Haven't really done shit this weekend so far... grilled some steaks, drank some beers, sat around. Actually fealt good to just sit around and not do anything. Going to see Nekromantix tonight in Chicago. That will be good. Then it's back to 12hour days at work tomorrow. Oh yeah... they finally finished (well sorta finished) my office at work! So instead of a desk in the hall lobby in the front office, I have my own office out on the shipping dock. The bonus isn't just privacy either... I can wear jeans and tshirts, and I can listen to my own music in there as long as I try to not listen to songs like the Casualties "fuck it all". Yeah, that was bad when it was playing and my supervisor walked in. She didn't really care actually... it'a all good. The only bad thing on my mind is that I feel like I've been kinda blowing off a lot of friends lately. I think it's partly because I have a g/f now, but more because I just have been so damn busy working. I feel bad because one of my best friends is having surgery next week, and I wanted to be there and all, but I'm totally stuck working. Grrrr! I guess I'm still not sure where life is going... but it's summer time and I just don't care about all that shit right now. It's time to work, party, drink, go to shows, and have some damn fun. Ok... enough of an update for now.
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| Whee! |
[30 May 2005|10:46am] |
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Yeah... so the weather cleared up, and I decided to have a party/cookout last night. Damn good time! Drank, burned stuff, drank some more... good times. Going off to Irish Fest today. Yup... that's the plan.
Cheers Fuckers!
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| blah |
[29 May 2005|02:16pm] |
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Just another shitty weekend... weather is perfect all week, turns to shit on the weekends. Had thought maybe I'd go down to the wing-ding thing here in town... but it's raining, they're charging a cover this year, and there's only one band that's even worth a shit. I doubt I'll bother with it. This whole fucking week has been a disapointment... birthday sucked, paycheck was spent to quick, and I haven't had much fun at all. Friday night was the only really good thing so far... and even that was just ok. I went to the midwest psychobilly gathering with my g/f and some friends. There were 4 bands... all were ok, only one put on a really great set in my opinion. Maybe I was just tired from working all week... I dunno. Just wasn't really into it by the end of the night. Other than that, the weekend has sucked. Going to Irish Fest in Chicago tomorrow... that had better be fun or I'm just gonna be really pissed. I really don't know what to think right now, I'm just not happy. What a waste life can be when you think about it... you spend your whole life working to pay taxes and try to support yourself and your family if you have one... and in the end... you die... that's it... you just die. So what's the point? We are just slaves to a system of laws and politics designed to keep people under complete control and at a point where they don't have the power to fight back and just be free. There is no freedom... it's just an illusion that's been brainwashed into people so they think there's some good in this world.
I just want to be free... free to do what I want without being judged by people who don't know a thing about me or how I feel. Maybe I should just give up... there's no point in fighting... you just end up in prison or shot dead by some puppet of the system cop. I'll pay your fucking taxes, deal with your government controled economy, and let you trample my freedom... because if I don't... you'll put me down anyway. But remember what this country started as... a bunch of people who got sick of being ruled by a bunch of shit heads... and they kicked their asses right out of here! The founding fathers of this country would puke if they saw what it's become.
Yeah yeah... blah blah... it's just my way of venting I guess. I'm fully entitled to my opinions... so why not write them down I guess. It's still probably one of the best countries to live in... and maybe that's what makes it sad... this country is so screwed up... and yet, it's probably better than most. Man this world sucks.
Anyhow... I'm bored. Wanted to have a party tonight... nobody's gonna show though... so who cares. I don't give a shit anymore. I just want my buddy Danny to hurry up and get his ass back from Iraq ok.
Ok... that's enough I guess. Time to go do something else for a while... who knows what though.
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| What is going on? |
[22 May 2005|08:31pm] |
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mood |
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 melancholy |
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I don't know what's been up with me lately... I'm just bummed. I can't seem to put my finger on it, but I feel so uncomfortable and restless. It's kinda like I wish I could just pick up and disappear from here and start life off fresh. I know I can't though... and maybe the lack of freedom in general is what kills me. I have one of those pasts that will never go away and will never let me forget the fucked up shit that has happened to me. On top of it... I feel old... I know everyone gives me so much shit about it... but that doesn't change that I feel old! I'm gonna be 28 in a few days, and what do I have to show for my life? I wish I knew! I just feel like life's been such a waste. I know... I know... it's really not all bad, and believe me I've had some great times, and perhaps this is all just a bump in the road that I need to just move past, then again... It might be more of the same... and that's what sucks, not knowing. Just seems like little things are setting me off the past few days. I've been so paranoid that everything is so fucked up in my life and always will be that I've even kinda been treating my g/f weird. I don't know really... maybe just the new way things are moving in life have me a little scared. As much as I love to live for the moment, I still like to have some kind of master plan in life... but I don't have one... all I have are dreams and fairytales of freedom and justice in a land that garuntees anything but. So what do I do? Part of me fills with so much anger at the way this country has fallen apart... I wish I had been born in another time. But that's just a wish or a dream... reality is that I'm here... and it's not going to get better in the sense of going back to the simple and free way this country used to be run. So what do I want? I don't really know... yeah I have dreams of opening a bar or some how pulling some musical talent out of my fat ass... but those are just dreams... I know I can't make them come true. It's just not in the cards... I love that I have such a great imagination... but sometimes I think it's a curse... I dream so much of how things could be or should be that I convince myself to try for them only to be let down or worse yet... to let down or hurt someone else. I'm just tired of things being fucked up... I just want things to be cool for a while... just a stretch of having things go right would be great. I don't even know what I want to do, or what I want to have happen right now... I feel so lost. I feel like I am dragging everyone down around me too... and I hate that so much. If I'm going to self destruct... I don't want to have it be at the cost of hurting others. Life's not fair... boy that's the truth! No idea what to say really... no idea what to feel... no idea what to think... I'm just here... that's all, and I don't feel right.
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| Oh for fuck sake! |
[17 May 2005|06:51pm] |
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mood |
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infuriated |
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What a day... can we just rewind and start today over? I want a re-do!
Started the day off normal enough... going to work and doing my normal stuff there. I like my job generally, although there is some B.S. at work. I guess that is par for the course for any job however, so I don't sweat it much. Just wish I made a little more money... that's all.
So yeah... the one good thing I heard today was that my nephew was moved to a hospital closer to home. Seems he's doing rather well for being 2 months early. I'm so happy for my sister. I can't wait until he's home and healthy so I can go out and visit them!
So after work, I come home and go for a nice walk around my neighborhood. It's so relaxing to just listen to some music, walk along, and let my mind wander. When I got home I decided to mow the lawn... well, just my luck... the mower slipped when I was mowing by the ditch on the side of my lot and hit a metal pipe... froze up the motor. I think it's fucked. Oil shot out of it when I tried to start it again. It finally started again... but was shaking like mad. Go figure... I just spent $60 repairing it so I could mow the lawn... and first time I try and use it... I bust the damn thing! GRRRRRRR!!!
Then there's another thing... FUCKING PSYCHO BITCHES!!! I swear! There's this old fling from the past that has some serious issues! Lord knows that I have had the worst fucking time with women in my life... I should have given up long ago... but then again, I have a kick ass girlfriend right now, and that makes me realize that there are some out there that aren't bitches, aren't psycho, and aren't just all around stupid as hell! But... back to the great girlfriend in a bit... back to the fucking blood sucking psycho. So I met this girl a while back... had a fling, got all fucked up over a pregnancy scare... honestly don't even know if she really was or not... but seriously doubt it. But what can I say, I was so fucking hard up and lonely... I fell for it and was nice to her. DUMBASS!!! I know... I suck. So couple months back... she comes to visit and we hook up again. Gee... and here comes a trend... now she tells me there's a chance she's pregnant again! This, after looking me in the eyes and assuring me she was on birthcontrol etc... So I think back and there's another trend! Every time I blow her off and focus on someone else... this is what fucking happens! I'm so damn pissed off that I can't even think clearly now. I feel that IF she's actually pregnant... well... she first off has to fucking prove 100% to me it's mine... and she can fucking pay for it! I'm not being trapped into shit by this bitch. I thought maybe she was a decent girl and that we could be friends... I was fucking wrong! I guess the responsible guy in me takes over when I want to tell her to fuck off and she can deal with it herself... if I am part of the deal... then that's what's in the cards. But I'll be dammed if I will let some fucked up wacked out bitch raise my kid while I send money out to her and she can tell the kid how much of a bastard I am. So yeah... I think I'd fight to have custody probably. I would be a fucking great dad I think. Not ready... but certainly would rather give the kid a mentally stable parent. But... I'm not really all that worried... I seriously doubt this shit is even real. Ever wish you could just go back in time and just NEVER have met someone? Yeah... this girl falls into that category. Her, and one other key BIOTCH! Anyhow... can't change the past, can't make stupid mistakes go away... just have to live life as it comes and do the best I can. I'm getting used to fucked up shit actually... I don't think life will ever be normal.
On top of it all... I'm broke... I hate being broke. I swear that I really feel like I just can't fucking win right now. Where is life going? What's going to become of me? Am I going to find some sort of peace in life? Who knows... who cares? I guess I care... maybe a few other people who actually give a rat's ass about me... but in reality... it probably matters little to anyone what happens to me. But I won't give up... and I won't give in! I will fight tooth and nail for my little peice of this fucked up world we live in! I just wish more humans knew of humanity.
So... on to one of the good things in my life. (that's right... it's not all bad!) I have this great girlfriend right now... we get along so well. I feel so at ease around her. She treats me better than I've ever been treated before. It's really cool, we met and started to hang out and stuff saying all along we were going to just see where things went and take it slow. Four weeks later... we are dating and spending a whole lot of time together. I couldn't be happier! Having my past bad luck... yeah... I worry a bit that I somehow will fuck this up or something... but it's going so well. Is this a dream? Am I really this happy? Is there really this girl who likes me even with all my faults? Will this last? I hope to hell so! I think I'm falling for her... like you know... that fucking 4 letter word. Not ready to say it or think it out loud yet... but yeah... it could happen. We'll see. I just hope that everything is cool... and this bullshit being sprung on me doesn't fuck things up. I enjoy things so much right now... I'm even toying with the idea of asking her to move in with me. I think it would work... we are great friends beneath our relationship. Not to mention... it would split bills for us both... and make for a log more concert going and partying!!!! Lord knows I like that! Woohoo! So yeah... anyhow... pretty happy in the girl department right now. For the most part, my friends think it's a good thing too... haven't introduced her to all my friends yet. As much as I say I don't give a shit what other people think... I do actually care what my friends think. Friends and family are forever... and there's no point being in a serious relationship with someone unless you can be one of their best friends too. I think that's just how it should be. Yup... that's how it is.
Oh... and there was a show in town tonight that I kinda wanted to go to, but didn't have shit for money... so I am sitting here typing this lame ass journal entry. I am so pissed off right now! An angry mosh pit would be good about now. Not that there would be one at the show tonight... but still... I want to just let out some frustration!
So... on top of all this... my g/f had a shitty day today too at work and I guess a friend of hers was sick and she had to take her to the ER. What a lousy day! Seriously... can we just get a do over? And can some people just go away? Not the good ones... just the shit heads!
FUCK YOU... FUCK YOU VERY MUCH!!!
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| Something new... |
[13 May 2005|10:22pm] |
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So.... what's new? Ice hogs lost the playoffs... blah! Sucks! Oh well. They did good this year. Maybe next year. Work is going... not sure where or how... but it's going. Life in general is good though. For the first time in over a year... I actually have a girlfriend again! I'm all happy and giddy as hell about it. She's really great... I totally just feel at ease with her, like there's no bullshit having to prove shit to her. I gotta admit... it's going really great... so great it made me wonder if this is just some crazy dream... if it is... I don't wanna wake up! I'm broke again this week... totally went grocery shopping while I was hungry today... spent way too much money! I won't have to go for a while though. I've been bad about my diet lately... need to get back on the wagon. No way I'm gonna make my goal for my b'day... that sucks. I tried. I'll set a new goal for say July 4th and see if I can make that one. Anyhow... things are good. My nephew that was born 2 months early seems to be doing well so far... that's a good thing. My sister was so excited that she was finally pregnant after trying for years. I have it in me to do some home improvement/re-organization this weekend. Not sure if I will have time... but I want to do some stuff around here. Anyhow... I have to work in the morning... so it's probably a good idea to get my arse to bed.
Cheers!
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guinnesspunk95's journal